(Worst) Elvis (EVER) goes Mexican singing Jimmy Buffet songs.......

You would have had to been there to believe it…..

Do you have a Dire Straits CD? How about Jimmy Buffett? If you do, and you have time to mix up a strong margarita…please get your drink and cue up Dire Straits Walk of Life. You will totally get it by the time you finish reading this post.

Earlier this month we took a trip south to Port Richey, the second of Doug’s appointments there. To save some money we opted to bring the shibas so we wouldn’t have the kennel cost. They are good travelers.




Have you ever stayed at a pet friendly hotel? They are not as nice as a hotel where you have inside rooms and no possibility of an encounter with carpet that previously hosted…someone else’s dog(s).

Just savor that mental image for a bit before shaking your head and scrunching your nose. Yeahhhhhhhh

Just so the spoiled creatures would not be stressed and left alone for too long, for dinner we decided to get take-away pizza to bring back to the room and eat. I asked the desk clerk where we could grab a pizza and he asked, “Do you want REAL pizza or do you want Dominos, Hungry Howies….?”


We very much like to go to local businesses instead of chain restaurants so were quite pleased to be pointed in the direction of Joe and Leo’s New Jersey Pizza



The scenery was painted on one wall 26 years prior. Then they were able to get the same artist to finish this other side 2 years ago. Pretty cool.

We choose a Sicilian pizza and took it back to the room with a bottle of Beaujolais. Settled in to feast on some authentic Italian pizza and watch reruns of the TV show Bewitched



Very amusing…more so by the tipping of some Beaujolais ……and if you’ve never sipped wine from plastic bathroom cups….well, let me tell you. That’s the high life there!


Next day – Friday – go to Doug’s appointment and get my fix of Dunkin’ Donuts (which they do not have in Tallahassee ). They are all over Port Richey…orange and pink signs abound…..sugary goodness and hot dark coffee, Yankee accents and feeling of contentment embraces my Pennsylvania soul. I think of my father. He loved the blueberry cake doughnuts.



Since we had left Kobe and Aja all day, we decided for dinner to just walk to the Mexican restaurant next to the hotel, not be away too long. It was a family owned place, not a chain, and there was a welcoming sign proclaiming Happy Hour was on till 7:00 with two-for-one Margaritas. Perfect!


The parking lot is packed and as we edge through the door a hostess asks,

“Are you here for the show?” to which we replied we didn’t know there was one. Evidently an Elvis impersonator was drawing in a huge crowd at this Mexican restaurant. Cover charge is $5 each OR we could sit in the bar and eat there, no cover.

Well the bar has booths and lots of places to sit AND it is literally about 25 feet from the front door. You can see and hear everything that is going on in the main dining area. We don’t want to drop $10 just for the privilege of being crammed in with a bunch of blue-haired old ladies, elbow knocking the over-worked waitresses as they squeeze by with trays of margaritas and complimentary stale chips. Side step into the bar.

See the doorway with the sombrero hanging? That is all that separated the bar from the dining room.


We are the only patrons in the bar. We grab a booth and watch the frantic activity as pitchers are being filled with beer, margaritas are being mixed by the dozen and one lone person is ringing up all the liquor orders. The two-for-one deal apparently does not cover a pitcher of margaritas. My bad. Doug was on the phone with Tristan so I couldn’t consult about the various 2-for-1 choices. A pitcher it is!



Elvis walks in. But he is in disguise….as a regular ordinary fellow …he just happens to have the black hair and fat sideburns. I asked Doug to get my photo with him (despite his mediocre appearance) but “Elvis” is asking the bartender if he can change clothes in the office. So we wait because surely he’ll emerge with a flashy white jumpsuit, bejeweled with gold chains and sunglasses. That will make a splendid photo. We wait; we sip margaritas and eat chips. We place our order.


Unbeknownst to us, “Elvis” had emerged but we didn’t notice…because his wardrobe change consisted of black jeans and button-up shirt. He starts singing, we keep tossing back margaritas and the food arrives. Great food by the way! We are still the lone customers in the bar area.


“Elvis starts singing Little Sister and follows with another Elvis song. Then…wait for it….he starts singing Margaritaville! A Jimmy Buffet song. Two large drinks into this meal and we are howling. Then we are singing too! Wait, this gets better….”Elvis” follows the Jimmy Buffet song up with something from Dire Straits. I can’t remember the song but we knew the words and Doug and I launched into song again. “Elvis” sings another Elvis Presley song and follows that one with Secret Agent Man.




He sings the first chorus and the old ladies are whoo-hooing…then he gets to the second chorus and holds the mike out to them…they screech “Secret ASIAN Man! Secret ASIAN Man!” If you can open this link below you’ll get in the spirit of it as you imagine the scene. Sorry but I couldn't make a short clicky link :-(


http://www.google.com/url?q=http://popup.lala.com/popup/504684659308112251&ei=QmnHS7GTH4PW9ASOpZDuCg&sa=X&oi=music_play_track&resnum=1&ct=result&cd=2&ved=0CAkQ0wQoADAA&usg=AFQjCNGaqAlGc19vJmGPkXscwMF6boTUew


Seriously….Asian man.

This is what we looked like by the time he got to this song. And believe me, American Idol will not be calling either of us after our performance at the table.



After settling the check we edge out, squeezing through the packed aisles, heading back to our room. I had been laughing and smiling so much that my face hurt! The place was packed and as we were leaving, “Elvis” launched into the Roy Orbison song Pretty Woman. (Snort)


You just can’t make this stuff up.

15 comments:

Janel said...

Woo hoo! Go, Secret Asian Man, Go!!! Sounds like a fun evening. :)

Kim said...

You are definitely right...sometimes you just can't make this kind of stuff up. Sounds like one of those crazy and fun nights that you are sure to remember.

Velva said...

It's great when you enjoy something fun and unexpected. I have a Jimmy Buffet CD but, no Dire Straits :-)

Hoep your trip home was safe.

Drick said...

SNORT.... now this is when I wish I could have joined you two = my kind of fun

Le laquet said...

You're so right - you couldn't make that stuff up ... sounds like you had a great trip! My idea of heaven is being able to make the 2-for-1 choices all on my own becasue someone else is "incapacitated!"

Pierce said...

Janel - It was fun. Margarittas aside, but they did help with the hilarity of the situation.

I need to shoot you an email about Cooper and the dog food.

Kim - How true! It sure wasn't our average Friday night.

Velva - thank you, trip home was a breeze with lots to talk about!

Drick - Well....next time we are in your neck of the woods, we'll go out looking for fun :-)

Jo - And you know, that is just how that happened. Watching the news I see we couldn't fly in to London if we wanted to...volcanic ash, right? We need to do a night on the town!

Carla and Michael said...

That is too funny. It sounds like Port Richey alright. We lived in Clearwater and Tampa for a while, so I know just what you were thinking. LOL. It still makes for a great laugh though. Glad you had a safe trip!

Carla and Michael said...

Oh, and by the way! You're dogs are beautiful!

Le laquet said...

I know!!!!! It's awful, I have so many friends missing out on trips because of Icelandic volcanic ash T!! And the biggest pain in the arse thing about it is - it might go on for weeks and then I might miss out on a trip and if you think that you've seen pissed already, well there'll be a whole "hell hath no fury" thing going on then!! No really! ;o)

Le laquet said...

p.s. LMAO! My word verification was apetiting - so could be a word in my dictionary and now it's suetings ... they (Blogger) obviously know me TOO well :o)

Pierce said...

Carla and Michael - Thank you, we dote on those dogs...they are spoiled. Yes, it was a fun trip. Our last one is planned for next month but we are doing a day trip. The drivers are crazy - so glad we didn't take the bike!

Jo - That is terrible that so many people are having to change plans. Business and vacations shot to hell. Where are you going in a few months? France? Maybe you can take the ferry!

Cathy said...

Looks like you guys had a lot of fun!

Le laquet said...

I'm flying to Barcelona to meet my parents ... too far to drive on my own :o(

Pierce said...

Cathy, we had just been talking about the fact that if we'd driven back that evening, we wouldn't have had such a greta time and story. Next month we are making a day trip.

Jo -Barcelona! Now we are jealous. Lucky girl

Le laquet said...

Yes and this time I am going to spend a whole day on my own in el mercat Boqueria - http://www.boqueria.info/ - told my parents they need to find something else to do!

Birthday dinner - Crab cakes, cheese grits, champagne and a lovely evening!

Friday was Doug's birthday .  On birthdays we enjoy a good meal and plan a few fun activities.  The weather has improved (no storms !...