(Worst) Elvis (EVER) goes Mexican singing Jimmy Buffet songs.......

You would have had to been there to believe it…..

Do you have a Dire Straits CD? How about Jimmy Buffett? If you do, and you have time to mix up a strong margarita…please get your drink and cue up Dire Straits Walk of Life. You will totally get it by the time you finish reading this post.

Earlier this month we took a trip south to Port Richey, the second of Doug’s appointments there. To save some money we opted to bring the shibas so we wouldn’t have the kennel cost. They are good travelers.




Have you ever stayed at a pet friendly hotel? They are not as nice as a hotel where you have inside rooms and no possibility of an encounter with carpet that previously hosted…someone else’s dog(s).

Just savor that mental image for a bit before shaking your head and scrunching your nose. Yeahhhhhhhh

Just so the spoiled creatures would not be stressed and left alone for too long, for dinner we decided to get take-away pizza to bring back to the room and eat. I asked the desk clerk where we could grab a pizza and he asked, “Do you want REAL pizza or do you want Dominos, Hungry Howies….?”


We very much like to go to local businesses instead of chain restaurants so were quite pleased to be pointed in the direction of Joe and Leo’s New Jersey Pizza



The scenery was painted on one wall 26 years prior. Then they were able to get the same artist to finish this other side 2 years ago. Pretty cool.

We choose a Sicilian pizza and took it back to the room with a bottle of Beaujolais. Settled in to feast on some authentic Italian pizza and watch reruns of the TV show Bewitched



Very amusing…more so by the tipping of some Beaujolais ……and if you’ve never sipped wine from plastic bathroom cups….well, let me tell you. That’s the high life there!


Next day – Friday – go to Doug’s appointment and get my fix of Dunkin’ Donuts (which they do not have in Tallahassee ). They are all over Port Richey…orange and pink signs abound…..sugary goodness and hot dark coffee, Yankee accents and feeling of contentment embraces my Pennsylvania soul. I think of my father. He loved the blueberry cake doughnuts.



Since we had left Kobe and Aja all day, we decided for dinner to just walk to the Mexican restaurant next to the hotel, not be away too long. It was a family owned place, not a chain, and there was a welcoming sign proclaiming Happy Hour was on till 7:00 with two-for-one Margaritas. Perfect!


The parking lot is packed and as we edge through the door a hostess asks,

“Are you here for the show?” to which we replied we didn’t know there was one. Evidently an Elvis impersonator was drawing in a huge crowd at this Mexican restaurant. Cover charge is $5 each OR we could sit in the bar and eat there, no cover.

Well the bar has booths and lots of places to sit AND it is literally about 25 feet from the front door. You can see and hear everything that is going on in the main dining area. We don’t want to drop $10 just for the privilege of being crammed in with a bunch of blue-haired old ladies, elbow knocking the over-worked waitresses as they squeeze by with trays of margaritas and complimentary stale chips. Side step into the bar.

See the doorway with the sombrero hanging? That is all that separated the bar from the dining room.


We are the only patrons in the bar. We grab a booth and watch the frantic activity as pitchers are being filled with beer, margaritas are being mixed by the dozen and one lone person is ringing up all the liquor orders. The two-for-one deal apparently does not cover a pitcher of margaritas. My bad. Doug was on the phone with Tristan so I couldn’t consult about the various 2-for-1 choices. A pitcher it is!



Elvis walks in. But he is in disguise….as a regular ordinary fellow …he just happens to have the black hair and fat sideburns. I asked Doug to get my photo with him (despite his mediocre appearance) but “Elvis” is asking the bartender if he can change clothes in the office. So we wait because surely he’ll emerge with a flashy white jumpsuit, bejeweled with gold chains and sunglasses. That will make a splendid photo. We wait; we sip margaritas and eat chips. We place our order.


Unbeknownst to us, “Elvis” had emerged but we didn’t notice…because his wardrobe change consisted of black jeans and button-up shirt. He starts singing, we keep tossing back margaritas and the food arrives. Great food by the way! We are still the lone customers in the bar area.


“Elvis starts singing Little Sister and follows with another Elvis song. Then…wait for it….he starts singing Margaritaville! A Jimmy Buffet song. Two large drinks into this meal and we are howling. Then we are singing too! Wait, this gets better….”Elvis” follows the Jimmy Buffet song up with something from Dire Straits. I can’t remember the song but we knew the words and Doug and I launched into song again. “Elvis” sings another Elvis Presley song and follows that one with Secret Agent Man.




He sings the first chorus and the old ladies are whoo-hooing…then he gets to the second chorus and holds the mike out to them…they screech “Secret ASIAN Man! Secret ASIAN Man!” If you can open this link below you’ll get in the spirit of it as you imagine the scene. Sorry but I couldn't make a short clicky link :-(


http://www.google.com/url?q=http://popup.lala.com/popup/504684659308112251&ei=QmnHS7GTH4PW9ASOpZDuCg&sa=X&oi=music_play_track&resnum=1&ct=result&cd=2&ved=0CAkQ0wQoADAA&usg=AFQjCNGaqAlGc19vJmGPkXscwMF6boTUew


Seriously….Asian man.

This is what we looked like by the time he got to this song. And believe me, American Idol will not be calling either of us after our performance at the table.



After settling the check we edge out, squeezing through the packed aisles, heading back to our room. I had been laughing and smiling so much that my face hurt! The place was packed and as we were leaving, “Elvis” launched into the Roy Orbison song Pretty Woman. (Snort)


You just can’t make this stuff up.